Kaleidescope

What is normal? I realized this morning sitting here contemplating what to write that since July 4th I have been searching for normalcy. I also realize the terms of that word have shifted like a kaleidoscope, never staying the same long enough for me define the term. I have certainly tried and at times I thought I could grab on, slippery as it was. As humans we are obsessed with Quantifying and measuring things, we just cannot help ourselves. One of the most troubling questions I have encountered on this journey is also the simplest. How are you feeling? It has been asked countless times by family and friends, understandbly so, they are concerned and wish to know if I am making progress. This may all come back to the measurement thing, when asked this question I would invariably answer " Feeling ok" and then we would move on to other things. After many such answers I came to realize I was basing my answer on what I thought the person asking the question wanted to hear. Years ago, while sitting in a restaurant with my father he commented on the busy waitress and how when she greeted you , your answer could really be anything and she would smile and respond has she had thousands of time before. I experienced a lot of that while working in the salon in Ca and would see countless clients every month, I always remember what my father said and rather than ask the standard " how are you doing" I would make sure I knew their name, make it personal and the paradigm seemed ro shift a bit, Kinda Zen huh? Why in the heck have I wandered in this direction I am not sure. If those that read this have trouble deciphering the stuff I will not be surprised. It all comes down to this the ever shifting Kaleidescope that is my life, my being, my now, simply is. I have not quite figured out what to do with whatever form I discover at any given time, That I am still working on as I peer through the Kaleidescope.
Always with Love,
Tony.