The face of the beast

It has been one day since Pammy and me sat with my Oncologist and listened to her describe the beast that currently lies within me. There were no surprises, at least from my way of looking. I have sensed dismay and sadness from others, I never know quite where to put those emotions. I have Lung Cancer that spread to my brain, that was where it was found first. I have been in radiation treatment to get the Cancer in the brain. On Aug 12th I will begin Chemotherapy for the lung cancer, I have been affected little thus far by treatments, I can only logicly assume the easy times are over. I am still processing all the info and more difficult still am untangling the emotions. For now I am gonna persue treatment, I am slowly wrapping my mind around this thing and I think I will continue to do just that.I have many worries and concerns, My wife primary among them. I appear to have a finite amount of time to do my best to make sure I lessen her burden. I will strengthen my company in order to provide a legacy, I believe in all this I will also provide motivation to keep living. This is simply one more challenge, I have never shrinked from them and wont start now, I will get back in the field as much as I can to reinforce connections with clients and to show the crew what the clients need. I will expand the business and construct a partnership arrangement in order to keep Pammy financially invested in what she has worked so hard to create. Yesterday was difficult, it will take a while to assimilate everything I have to take in. I am gratefull for all those that have offered prayers and words of encouragment. I think I rambled this morning, I think I may be entitled. I am gonna leave the post this way and think some more.

Always with love,
Tony.