Remebering a father.

Before the death of my father, I had twisted my self into a bundle of guilt carrying most all of it by myself. Rarely is guilt to be carried by only one, rarer yet is the abilty to lay the guilt exactly where belongs. I think Dad had spent a number of years fufilling his obligation, he was a good father to his four children, he supported the family well.The total story cannot be told withought including acts of betrayal and adultry, welcome to the future folks.When I remember my Father I remember those moment as only sharp points of pain, so I tend to bypass them for other things. My Sharpest and most vivid memories come way before my mother had given up and decided complaining and nagging were preferable to what ever My Dad had expressed as his need unfulfilled. If I were to crank the time machine back just a little further, I would find a family living well and happy. We took regular camping trips, it was not unusuall to have all 6 of us traipsing across the country, pulling a travel trailer. It was by this method I was able to see the Grand Canyon Carls Bad Cavernes. We would alsso visit many lake and river areas for camping, catching fish and cementing my future as a lover of outdoors. My Father was a man of understated passion, I have no idea how it was to be within his personal universe, My mother did not fare well, I have my own opinions as to why. My Father I think operated much of the time on elemental level, he could conceive, design and build anything and did on numerous occassions. We had the coolest play house as kids, it had stairs and an upper floor all built by hand. Life was good and Dad was an everpresent, strong influence in my life, directing what I would become. Post's may be short for a few days, Family is commin to Gawk at the Cancer Dude, I will do my best to dance properly and make everyone feels good about the fact they made the effort.

Always with love,
Tony