Square dance

The last 16 days since I was diagnosed with secondary brain cancer, primary source yet to be determined has been interesting to say the least. I am still sorting a lot of it out and I am trying to be patient with others that understandably are sorting it out as well. I moved from CA in 1998 to Texas , I believe it was the best move I have ever made. All my immediate family still lives in CA, I have had regular visits with my Mom but really hadnt seen the rest of the family since last Pammy and I had gone there. When my Mom found out I was having surgery she dropped everything and came to Texas for two weeks. A noble gesture, family is important, I am glad she came. Mom was totally unprepared and overwhelmed by whatever it was she thought she was going to do. Cancer is overwhelming, I concede this fact. I can imagine that learning your eldest son is now stricken is devastating. My Mother's mistake was to try a jump into the chaos that was my post surgery. The massive amounts of steroids given me before and after surgery made me less than a social creature. My Mother's first reaction to sitting with me in ICU was " He doesnt want me here" Damn straight, I didnt want to be there nor did I want anyone there with me. On July 4th when I received my diagnosis my first question " Will you take this damn Catheter out now and let me go home? " I truly hope my Mother got what she needed while she was here, it's often hard to know with her. Next comes my Sister and Neice on Monday and My Brother and his tribe on the 27th. You would think I had a disease of some sort. My Family not only decided to come, they decided they would come immediately. Having learned all this Pammy and I went to a squaredance last night. We have friends that own a large peice of property and yearly for the last 29 years have a square dance. Talk about a way to cast off a lot of the junk and spend some time with something different, this was the ticket. There is something about the anonimity of hanging out with the great unwashed in a massive display of humanity that is the quicksand farms square dance. 500 people come from all over, great bluegrass music is played, people smile, they eat, they laugh and they dance. It was exactly what we needed. Thank you Jim and Alex for providing what we most needed at this time in our busy post Cancer diagnosed life.

Always with love,
Tony.