I love Texas, I really I do. However I miss fishing on the west coast. When I look back at my earlier years, I went fishing a lot, there were several resovoirs nearby my house. I would catch Pan Fish by the tons . One of my favorite places to go was DelleValle Resovoir, most times the fish would hit before the weight hit the bottom. I guess thats what I miss most about the west coast, the diversity. Within a few hoursI could fly fish crystal clear streams or Delta river for striped Bass. Or I could go into the bay and catch striped bass and we did many times. Texas is great, Dont get me wrong perhaps I just dont have as much time as I used to I certainly Dont have the time recently. I am going to focus on going fishing more often.

Always with love
Tony.

Reflections

I had a blood transfusion yesterday, if any one had told me a year ago I was gonna do this stuff I would have called them nuts. Sometimes I do still float the river of denial, I cannot do that really very very much of that because I am reminded each and and every day of the enemy that lurks within me. Were I a wealthy man I would stay in town only long enough to obtain treatment, leaving thereafter for some exotic place where women wear little and it's always warm. The flip side of this is what if I were alone and had no insurance? I am sure that happens all over the country at some point or another. I am always thankful for Pam in my life I couldnt image what it would be life with out her. This is very tough on her and in some ways I thougher on her than me. I am very focused on my goals and I have come enjoy being alone she has work as well as all the financial worries and then me. She says she wouldnt have it anyother way but I wonder sometimes and I wouldnt blame her one bit if she did. I am still getting rants and raves about the party, of course it went of spectacularly, it always does but this one I think was extra special and will be remembered for some time.

Always with love,

Tony.

Great life

We had the party on Sat and it was fabulous as always, This one did seem be a little more terrific than those in the past. I proved some things to my self such as the fact that it doesnt require as much work to get ready for the party as i thought it did. I used to work for weeks to get thengs ready, This time a round I used my my crew, or rather pammy did and prepared the place. Ryan is a superior musician and the band he brought played some excellent music. we hit a window of wonderful weatherand best of all I felt good. Thats not a sure thing by any stretch these days. I didnt really feel all that great on friday and I dont feel well today. Maybe it was all the positive energy and there was tons of it. I was actually kinda upset at first because I thought this a was a Goodbye party. And the truth is it may very well be for some because some in the group I only see once a year. I cannot believe how nice the weather was and the entire experience can really be sumed up with one one Perfect. For those of you that came and a lot of you that read this page did, I spoke with most of you. For those of you that were envited and didnt come you missed one hell of a party. I have some of the best friends a man could have. I also have a great life.

Always with love,

Tony.

Rabbit hole

I just climbed out of the rabbit hole, I was told there would be some rough moments, I had no idea what was in store for me. I literally lost weeks of my life, dont ask me how many because I dont know. Yesterday, I felt much better and today I actually feel good. I will be thrilled if I never repeat that part of my life again. We are having our fall party on Sat I am looking forward to it very much , we have over 40 on the list . I am searching for words to write, the problem is I have such a huge whole in my memory. I have never experienced such a thing where I search my brain and there juat wasnt any thing there. I will write a gain afterthe party, I should have some thing to say at the poiint.
Always with love ,
Tony.

Do they think we are stupid?

How fruatrating must it be to be Ron Paul? I have wathed this guy Talk and talk telling us what he considers to be the truth and he was just farting in the breeze. People called him a nutt and didnt listen. It turns out that Mr Paul was and is correct, his roots are strong based in libertairianism . we wouldnt be in this predicament if we hadnt spent more than we earned. How difficult is that concept? Spend within your means and no more, didnt our parents do that? I dont think my father owned a credit card. I remember hearing about a bill Congressman Paul wrote called the daylight act, this bill simply required everyone about to sign a bill to read it thouroughly first. Simple? apparently few do and sign anyhow, thats our government at work they are ready spend our money in massive amounts and often havnt even read the bill. Tony's requirement to get a bill signed would be to explain why the money is needed and how much will be needed in five sentences or less, if you cannot then go home and get a real job. Now the guys that built this massive shit hole we are sinking deeper and deeper into have convinced us they need piles of out money so we can get out. They created it and they think they can lead us out. Two words will take care of a lot of this TERM LIMITS,
Always with Love
Tony.

Politics with your Cancer

I think it's interesting that this total stir has developed over the VP selection by John Mccain. The most recent push by the left has been that she is not experienced enoughto take over when Sen Mccain kicks the bucket, I say when because he has been portrayed as old and not having enough time left to complete his term and she in my opinion frightens them. I find it fascinating that on the other end Senator Obama who's main message was change chose a VP who is capable of any but change. This man has been in the Senate for 35 years and has been behind many of the things Obama has vehemently opposed. Tony's # 1 rule in politics is it's all about image, Sen Obama had the image of no experience so he picked a guy with mega experience. Senator Mccain has the image of age and intolerance, who better than Gov Palin, young vibrant and conservative, very conservative. IMAGE, thats all thats importatnt. I believe a very early VP was right when he said the Vice Presidents office amounts to bucket of warm spit. I had a Chemo treatment to and I got my MRI and CT scan reports back, I do actually have a brain much to many people's disbelief. The brain I do have is currently free of Cancer. The CT scan has found a fifty percent shrinkage in my lymph nodes in my chest. The oncologist says that is much better than expected. She is very happy with the current progress, I like it when my oncologist is happy.
Always with Love
Tony.

Just another crisis

This journey of mine called cancer has provided many challenges, some I have written about others are far too personal and have not. For the most part I have weathered the challenges and come out the other side just a little worse for the wear, this is cancer after all. I have had my wonderful wife there every step of the way, I think save a few incidents the various crisis have been harder on her than me. Yesterday everything changed, the day started normally enough, I felt some preasure and a little pain in my lungs I have felt that before. Pammy says she knew something was wrong, I dont know that would have made any difference but she still was beating herself up about it. We left the house to run errands around mid afternoon we stopped for lunch, The pressure in my right lung had been building, it has done this before and I thought it would subside. It didnt. We had just finished lunch when I asked Pammy to take me to the ER I could not breath and the pain was tremendous. The next hour or so untill the Morphine went into the IV was the longest of my life and I was convinced I was gonna die. We pulled into the ER there was a nurse out front taking a woman to her car in a wheel chair I got her attention by shouting I can't breath. Shouting it a dozen more times in the crowded waiting room got me into the back within moments and angering the waitng people. Remember, I thought I was gonna die. It took maybe another 30 minutes or so, though it seemed like hours. Finally sweet relief and I realized I would live after all. When all was said and done, after an Exray and CT scan nothing was found abnormal. That has been a constant theme for me, my lung scans have been normal, the blood clots were there as they expected but no damage they could see that would cause the pain. The Doctor could only guess and say that debris has sluffed off and settled in causing the crisis. After several hours they released me with pain pills which I took when I got home. This morning everything is back to normal I feel tired from the experience but have no Pain. Go figger, such is my life and it makes me wonder what the next crisis will bring.
Always with love,
Tony.