The culprit has been identified

I can not remember a time in my life where I have been prone to to extremes of emotion, highs and lows were not a part of my emotional makeup. Certainly there were slightly blue moments and most certainly there were happy moments, as most people experience. The last few months have been a totally different thing all together. No emotion at all for some people might be described as a good thing, a kindof robotic state where tasks are accomplished as long as instructions are receved. When I was in the hospital I have little memory of what occured, I am told it was because of large amounts of drugs especially one by the name Dexamethazone, a steroid and a not a very nice one even though it does it's job very well which is reduce swelling. I have been on that particular steroid now for since I was released and the Docs have cranked it up and cranked it down. Time has come to get rid of it all together and since I know it is responsible for all that has made me less than normal isnt it great that at the end of the tapering off I can believe life will again be good and productive? I am ready to feel true emotion again, I am ready to get excited again. I have told people I feel Muted, I am ready to shut off the mute button. I doubt many people will have any idea what I am talking about, I may not know what I am talking about. I may be hanging my hat on something that may not happen. We shall see, either way I yearn to feel normal again.

Always with love,
Tony.