Lets go camping

Pammy and i are talking about taking some time and going camping, we havnt been camping fora couple of years and I would look forward to that. My brother is coming near the end of November perhaps that might be a good time to go. I will need to set it up , neither of them is very good at getting things like that arranged. If he doesnt change the date again as he has once allreadyHe had been switch work dates with a coworker and apparently the co worker needed to change the the day. Fortunately my days are not cluttered and can be changed fairly easly. I love to go camping and Ink's lake is one of my favorite places to go so we shall see how all that works out. In the mean time I think I am feeling a little better. I am gonna go get some sleep and see what Tomorrow has in in store for me.

Always with love,
Tony.

Yesterday Chemo was called off , they said my blood levels were too low and I guesss I apreciate them watching my blood levels while they pour toxic chemicals into to attempt to kill the cancer. I defere to the expertise of the Doctors always but I wonder do I shorten my presently shortened life by allow the put on hold a treatment that I may need. I will need to speak to the Doctor on this when I next see her. I am enjoying the current cold front we are having, Texas really is a wonderful place in the late fall and winter. I like to go camping in the winterand I usually take the boat out and do so me fishing as well. I hope this hold thing gets worked out, It's gonna be a beutiful day.

Always with love
Tony.

I had no Chemo yesterday, they told me it was because my blood levels could not take what they needed to throw at it. I hope their seming lack of urgency is not going to hurt me inthe end. Pam and I ve been have a similar arguement here, Pam thinks I am unwilling to leave the box and attempt something new. I am not wanting to stayin place here because just because it is herem I trust my Doctorbecause she is kind and gentle and I hve never gotten the impression thay she has had any thing but my best intententions at heart. I f there was something new out there she would know about it an tell me about it. Till further notice I am gonn stay in my Box,it's the not worst place to be everyone can develope a comfort most any where they are I apreciate people's concern for my well being Always with love ,
Tony.

The snake is still laying on the patio, headless and benign, which it wasnt last night I am telling myself for the umteentht time that I need to buy a varmint gun. maybe this time I wont just blow it off and next time maybe Will next door wont be home or whatever, I need to get one of my own.It is a beautiful snake, no doubt although seen under proper context very dangeroous. I dont really fear much but a person would be stupid to not to akgnowledge how dangergerous a 5 foot Ratteler would be, I dont know many stupid people and lived through it. We are experiencing beautiful Gorgous evenings, these are the days why people move to Austin and August and september are why the think of moving back.

Always with love,
Tony.

Varmints

Thinking is dangerous and up untill this point I havnt had to do much or couldnt do much. I dont know what has caused the loss of cognignitve abitilties but since I didnt know why I had lost or even that I had it shoulnt have a huge dissapointment when I found I had. Quite the the paradox dont you think? He is not aware of what is changing around him even though he is right there in the middle of things. I am led to believe things are changing, Pam paints a rather grim scene of me being completely unaware.I just killed a 6 ft Rattler snake that the dogs stirred up, I called the neighbor and he came over with his 12 gauge and blew its head off. pretty cool stuff, I am definitelygoing to buy a varmint killer, one of those lose little 40 gauge shot guns that ill get every thing from snakes to Opossums to Armadillos.I was hoping snakes were done done for the year. This one had a very loud rattle and was moving a bit sluggish because of the cold weather. I hadnt seen any this year and certainly none that large, so it is somewhat surprising to run into a big guy this late in the year. hopefully that is the one and only we will see. I am tired guyseveryone rest well.

Always with love,

Tony.

Steven has suggested I talk about fishing more, I certainly like fishing and could probabably spend pages and pages on fishing. When cancer takes over your life and it has for me it's very easy to allow that to become the focus of conversation, there have been some days when I was fairly certain I was going die on that day. What the hell do you talk about when death seems to be immenent?. The Doctor doesnt mention it except to say my cancer is very aggressive. One of these day it will surge forth and plow me under. Now I admit fishing is a much more pleasant topic of convervsation. My brother is coming out for 4 days near the end of November and depending on how I feel, everything seems to depend on that these days, he and I will go fishing. I have found november to be pretty reliable weather wise so I think we may go camping. Perhaps up at Inks Lake, which I really like a lot. It's a very pretty place . One of the thigs I find very interesting with my diease you cannot really make long range plans which was always my thing to do, now I am never certain how I will be feeling at any particular time. On a very off note I am incubating chickens here in the house, I have never done this before and by my calculations may be off althouh I understand they do not need to be precise. I just need to flip them over every now and again. I plan to band the hatchlings and all further Hatchlings the rest of this year, they will be next years young with this years just starting to lay, believe it or not this years young will be old after about about 2 years and and I will have to screw up the courge to make them part of dinner. There is a cycle to all of life.

Aways with love

Tony

I love Texas, I really I do. However I miss fishing on the west coast. When I look back at my earlier years, I went fishing a lot, there were several resovoirs nearby my house. I would catch Pan Fish by the tons . One of my favorite places to go was DelleValle Resovoir, most times the fish would hit before the weight hit the bottom. I guess thats what I miss most about the west coast, the diversity. Within a few hoursI could fly fish crystal clear streams or Delta river for striped Bass. Or I could go into the bay and catch striped bass and we did many times. Texas is great, Dont get me wrong perhaps I just dont have as much time as I used to I certainly Dont have the time recently. I am going to focus on going fishing more often.

Always with love
Tony.